The joy I explore in writing is found in discovering and ordering words that reveal an intimacy. I sit in a silent place in which I observe, or sense, my surroundings and I write the thoughts and feelings that float through my mind. This process is a meditation; a time consuming exploration, in its infancy. It has become, however, an important exercise in naming my emotions, acknowledging the truth of my feelings, and recording my insights and evolution. Annamarie, The Breath of Evolution
November 11, 2010
Hello friends…I recently attended a “goddess retreat” under the guidance of an amazing teacher Grace Cirocco. Grace and the 20 other women who attended the retreat have been a bottomless source of love, strength, and inspiration. For more information on Grace visit her web site www.gracecirocco.com.
Blog posted July 26, 2010
I had a dream this weekend. This dream just won’t go away. Every quiet moment, it returns to the forefront of my thoughts. I have spent hours, over the last few days, inadvertently ruminating about this dream.
In the dream I am riding on a Ferris wheel. I am alone, and all I see is the interior of the cart; the yellow metal bench, the black padded metal bar over my lap, the yellow perforated floor board where I am resting my feet, etc. I don’t recall looking at anything outside of the cart. In the beginning I am enjoying the circular motion of the ride…just feeling how the balance in my body changes as the cart sweeps to the top of the wheel then descents, with a quick drop, back to the ground. Over and over the wheel sweeps and drops…sweeps and drops, until I feel lulled by the motion. Pretty soon, however, the ride “feels” like it should be over, so I look around for a way to stop the ride and I see that on a bar above my head is a control panel. I scan the control panel for a “stop” button, but all the buttons are labeled with a phrase that is unclear. I grow frustrated, which button should I push? I don’t want to push the wrong button. Finally, with the decision made…to not make a decision, I just ride peacefully until the cart softly slows to a stop.
Not so complicated, right!
Going round and round on a Ferris wheel seems to signify that I’m enjoying life’s ride, I’m not looking forward or back…just enjoying the “sweeps and drops” of the present moment. Then something changes, or more accurately, I feel that something should change. Now I look to control the ride, bring the ride to a stop, but…the control panel is unclear. I don’t know what button I am supposed to push so I choose not to decide. In resigning myself to not decide I find peace, and the ride gently comes to a stop. Essentially, the future unfolds naturally.
As I am writing this post I notice a blue bird with its amazingly beautiful periwinkle blue back and amber gold chest. The boldness of the bird in contrast with the grey bark of the tree makes it stand out (almost like neon). Blue birds are not prevalent around the house, as they don’t eat from the bird feeders, so I decide to google Blue Bird Totem. (In Native American tradition there is the practice of “animal medicine” which is the awareness that reveals itself when a particular animal crosses your path. The healing aspects of the animal, when made conscious, can help you to make changes in your life. It’s like receiving a message from an angel.)
So…according to Native American medicine, The “Bluebird is a reminder that you are born to happiness and fulfillment, but you can sometimes get so wrapped up in everyday things, that happiness seems rare. Bluebird reminds you to take time to enjoy yourself.”
Goose bumps! The connection between the dream and the bird symbolism is a coincidence?
I am realizing that I am always devising a plan. These plans are not only based on what I want to achieve, but also on what I perceive society expects (the should’s…). I have received consistent and frequent reminders throughout my life that I am NOT in the driver’s seat, yet I still believe I can “control” my destiny. I am currently in a life situation in which I am happy and life is joyful, yet I still try to force change and try to push the button that will stop this ride so that I can get on the next one. When will I realize what the universe is telling me, “give it up”…”go with the flow”…enjoy the ride! Let the “sweep and drop” of my life experience carry me, naturally, to whatever life presents for me.
Namaste’ (All that is best and highest in me salutes all that is best and highest in you)