About Annamarie, 2012

What can I say about myself…I am an average woman in my (gulp!) mid forties. In my earlier 40’s I was sleep walking through a life of working 50 + hours a week at a stressful (more importantly, disheartening) job, a scale diving into obesity, and an absolute feeling of powerlessness.  I didn’t experience anything as dramatic as a nervous breakdown; however, I did “wake up”.

My lifelong quest incorporating the spiritual teachings of Christ, Buddha, Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and many others, along with the support and coaching of my beloved family and many super wise teachers, mentors, and motivators, kept my feet planted during a tumultuous period of transition and personal growth.  I officially retired, lost over 30 lbs, competed in 3 triathlons, raced in one 5K, and have enjoyed learning who I want to be and what I am capable of accomplishing.

The Buddhist proverb; “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” has been a recurring experience throughout my personal journey.  These many blessings in my life have brought me to the possibility of “paying it forward”; to be the teacher that appears when the student is ready.  I find myself pulled to help others through their life’s challenges and transitions.  Currently I am studying Life Coaching with the Coach Training Institute.  I selected CTI for my coaching certification training because they teach a Co-Active® Coaching method that emerges from the core belief that the client already has the answers.  (I don’t believe people are broken and need fixing!  I wasn’t broken… I believe that I am my own best navigator and fully capable of being the captain of my life.) Utilizing CTI’s methods, the coach stimulates conversation that encourages a curiosity and playfulness about life’s challenges; opening the potential of finding a surprising personal truth.  It provides a safe, nonjudgmental space where life’s potential can be explored, and through action and accountability, an evolution of thought and spirit can flow.

All this “stuff”; experiencing life’s challenges, has brought me to the simple truth that life is lived in the present moment and that to love and believe in me in this moment is paramount to walking through this life being an example of love and possibility.   The world changes one person at a time and that change can only happen within me.

I welcome your dialog and look forward to sharing my wanderings.

Annamarie

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• Coach Training by The Coaches Training Institute (blog2ico.wordpress.com)

The Irony of the word “Try”

I’ve realized the irony of the word “try” and have decided to remove it from my vocabulary.  It has been wiped out, forgotten.  What did you say?  Try?  

Do or do not, there is no try. – Yoda  (I know it is crazy to quote a fictional, little green man, however, no quote states it better.)

To try: “to attempt to do or accomplish.”  To do: “to perform, execute, accomplish.”      To try: “to test the effect or result of.”  To do: “to finish, put forth, exert, be the cause of.”  To try: “endeavor to evaluate by experiment.”  To do: ”bring about, effect.” ~Dictionary.com

To attempt to do or accomplish…Wow!

We use the word to hedge our bets and express our intention to accomplish something.  The irony is, with the use of the word “try”, failure is implied.  The goal you attempt is, by definition, not going to be completed unless you “do” it.  I now believe that when I “tried” to do something, I wasn’t committed to “doing” or fully engaged in the task.  I used the word as an escape door; an excuse.  I realize I didn’t take responsibility for possible failure.  Ahhhhhh….there’s that word, RESPONSIBILITY.  Oh…and FAILURE!!! 

When I try…I don’t take responsibility for possible failure!  Hey, I tried!!!!!

I believe my words have power…so going forward, here is my vow:  I will no longer “try” and will commit to “do” whatever I set as my task.   In the event that I fail, while acknowledging that I put forth the effort, I know that I am responsible, for failing to complete the task.  I will also ask the question, “What is the purpose of this experience for me”?  I will not be afraid to challenge myself and learn from my failures.

Namaste’

Annamarie

A winter solstice labyrinth walk!

My Labyrinth Garden

Hello Friends…

Many people have asked me about my upcoming labyrinth walk.  What is a labyrinth and what is the winter solstice?  I thought that I would offer some insight and a bit of history about both so that anyone interested in joining us will feel confident and peaceful.

Ultimately, the labyrinth is a vehicle for meditation.  It is a circular construction with one path guiding the walker from the entrance to the center …and then back to the entrance.  The way is not concealed.  In the case of my labyrinth, it is an 88’ circular garden with a stone path.  The fact that there is only one path to the center and the path is clear, the mind can relax into accepting a simple journey.  The mind’s only task is to stay on the path.  A labyrinth is different from a maze; a maze being designed to have multiple twists and turns and including false starts and dead ends.  The maze is, of course, a great metaphor for life; however, finding your way through a maze can lead to negative feelings and fear.  In contrast, the labyrinth frees the mind to relax.

The origin of the labyrinth and its many variations are found way back in prehistoric rock art, widely across the globe, and represented in many of the world’s religions.  The earliest examples of the walking labyrinth are found in southern Sweden and date from the Iron Age (c.0 – 500 BCE).  A plethora of labyrinth walks through pavement appear around the Middle of the 13^th century.  Many of these walks are constructed in medieval churches and cathedrals.  An amazing labyrinth is found at Chartres Cathedral in France.  (This labyrinth was the inspiration for my labyrinth design, although my labyrinth has been greatly simplified.) More recently in the 16^th century “turf labyrinths” became a popular garden feature in Britain and were used socially as a part of springtime celebrations (Easter, Mayday, etc.) symbolizing growth and renewal.

Today, in the 21^st century, many Christian church groups continue to walk the labyrinth as a symbolic representation of the journey to the Holy Land.  The most widespread use of the contemporary labyrinth, however, is as a walking meditation.  I walk the labyrinth to reach states from peace to absolute presence, and to express things like gratitude and love.  Every walk is a part of a journey and is uniquely personal to the walker.

So…What is the winter solstice and why do I want to celebrate it?  The word solstice means “sun stands still”, because the sun appears to halt in the sky.  Basically the winter solstice, December 22, 2012, is the shortest day and the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.  In the Southern Hemisphere it is the summer solstice, which is the longest day and shortest night of the year.  (Our summer solstice for 2012 will occur on June 20th…save the date!)

The winter solstice has been celebrated since ancient times and in many cultures and religions.   This celebration of the “rebirth” of sunlight can even be associated with the timing of Christmas and the birth of the son (sun) of God.   This article in National Geographic talks in-depth about Christmas and it’s relationship to the winter solstice.  http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2002/12/1220_021220_solstice.html.

December 22^nd is the day that the shift occurs.  For those of us, who know the “winter blues” for what it is…a deprivation of light and vitamin D.  This is a day for celebration; promising the gradual return of the sun! 

I welcome anyone interested in this celebration, or any celebration of rebirth and renewal, to join me…December 22, 2012 at 4:30pm.  Send me a message for more information.

Namaste’  and I’m sending you love and wishes for an amazing holiday season and new year!

Annamarie

Dreaming…

Photo, Jeni Balcom 2011

“The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.”

- Robert Schuller

An Invitation…

The Invitation by Oriah

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

 

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk 

looking like a fool for love, for your dream,

for the adventure of being alive.

 

 It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow,

if you have been opened by life’s betrayals,

or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

 

 I want to know if you can sit with pain,

mine or your own without moving to hide it,

or fade it,

or fix it.

 

I want to know if you can be with joy,

mine, or your own, if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us to be careful,

to be realistic,

to remember the limitations of being human.

 

 It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

 

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty every day.

And if you can source your own life from its presence.

 

 I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

 

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

 

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how

you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

 

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

 

I want to know if

you can be alone with yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.”

 

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming, from the book The Invitation

A Cog in the Machine!

Hello Friends…

Many of you read Tuesday’s meditation.  I want to share with you my experiences using that meditation as a self-awareness tool. 

2 ½ years ago I quit my job and instituted an arduous fitness campaign.  I lost weight and lowered my cholesterol, but felt “dissatisfied” with my accomplishment.  So…I worked out harder and more often, but, I didn’t lose any more weight.  I was stuck!  18 months of nothing.  (Well…up two lbs. down one, up one lb. down two, etc.)

I now realize that the weight was a metaphor for much of my adult life; wanting + hard work = moderate success.    More wanting + more hard work = same moderate success…work harder and harder (you get the picture)!  I always felt as if I was pushing against a glass ceiling.  I could see what I wanted and desperately pushed, but could never break the glass.  I. was. stuck. 

Over the past two years I have explored different ways of being in this world. Writing this blog was an important part of my process.  I have gained insight into my life patterns through meditation, introspection, observation, and the welcome comments of readers and friends.  These avenues, although often painful, have altered my “always way of thinking”.

I took a sabbatical from writing partly because “I was stuck”.  I decided that you (the reader) were probably not interested in my frequent laments on dieting.  I sure wasn’t interested! One saying my husband has is, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing (over and over) and expecting different results.” The original quote by Mark Twain is, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.”  What I believed, having been raised in a family containing generations of entrepreneurs and small business owners was; work hard and you will reap the rewards! 

WORK:  “to be in operation, as a machine. Dictionary.com

I realized that I felt like a cog in the machine.  Not “insane” like my husband’s quote suggests.  I was operating as if on autopilot; as if something unseen was pushing the buttons.  So…I stopped!  I stopped writing, dieting, and I cut down on my fitness schedule.  I totally enjoyed myself.  I went on long hikes with friends, traveled, spent days alone in the woods, meditated, went to movies, drank wine and coffee (and more wine and coffee).  Whew….I had fun. 

I also stopped writing this blog because there was realization hiding just beyond the reach of my conscious mind.  I was beginning to sense something about myself.  What is that…a moment of clarity!  I couldn’t put any of it into words.  I didn’t even know what IT was. 

Then I had an “A-ha” moment.   I was missing an important part of the wellness/success equation.  Oprah said it succinctly when she described why the “Law of Attraction” doesn’t work for most people.  She said you must come from a place of belief, not from a place of wanting. 

Come from a place of belief, not a place of wanting.  I get the concept, but how do you get to a place of “belief”? 

Who am I?  What do I want?  These two questions asked of your subconscious, or spirit, during or immediately following a meditation do not come from a place of wanting.  You are relaxed, at peace, and feeling blissful, which allows the answers to come from a place of possibility. 

What I realized after doing this meditation regularly, is that I didn’t want“things”.  What I wanted was: To create beauty in community (spirit) and environment…live as an example of balance, peace, beauty, love, spirit…provide a safe place…live my purpose…be an inspiration to others…help humanity to evolve and live with peace, love, and in wellness…provide a place of strength and purpose…and fortify the spirit. 

Thich Nhat Hahn says, “Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”

Every day that I wake up feeling stuck, I find a quiet spot to meditate for 10 minutes.  I create my day based on who I am and what I want.  I then live my “who” and “what” in the present moment…where life happens.

Namaste’

Annamarie

Who am I…today?

This is a meditation I do when I feel stuck. You may recognize the indicators…dread, complacency, sadness, frustration, maybe even anger. These feelings are my signal that I AM NOT LIVING MY LIFE PURPOSE!

“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it. ” Albert Einstein

In order to get into a higher consciousness and out of the mind chatter I do this simple meditation to create my day.  The entire meditation takes about 10 minutes.

First, have a paper and pencil handy. (You may even want to keep an ongoing journal.)

Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Breathe deep, in…and out, in…and out. It should be a deep, long comfortable breath. Watch the breath as it travels through the nose. Feel it fill up the lungs and expand the belly. You may even feel the breath in your fingers…around your knees and into the tips of your toes.

Relax your shoulders. Soften your face. Feel your lower back release…Breathe…

Ask yourself; who am I? Imagine…breathe.

What do I want? Breathe.

Take a deep breath and bring your awareness back to the room.

Write whatever comes to mind.

Let me know how it affects the rhythm of your day. This simple ritual has changed the way I walk through the world.

Namaste’

Annamarie

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